Small thoughts for my married friends.

I miss my married friends,
Many more are getting married soon. 
It's like as soon as you all got married,  everyone stop talking and sharing stories with me. 
Sometimes, I have this urge,  To talk to you.  But then I remember,  Things are different now,  Priorities changes. 
It is not I am not happy for you,  It is just sad but I understand,  I am no longer your priorities now,  But truth to be told,  I miss you.

The Involuntary Loner

I don't choose this aloneness. 
I hang out. I texted my friends and my colleagues for dinner.  For a humble company. 
Most of the time, people are not always available for you. 
So I went for movies, 
Eat dinner, 
Take a jog, 
and also live, 
Alone. All by myself.  
I don't choose this aloneness, 
but that's how my path always chose to be. 

The Unwilling Loner

Have you ever?

Have you ever? 
Tears rolled down your cheek,  When midnight sneak,  You cried yourself to sleep. 
Have you ever?
Cried in the shower,  During the wee hour,  Feeling lack of power. 
Have you ever? 
Wakes up alone,  Feels lonely and chill to the bone, Stuck in a strange zone. 
Have you ever? 
Stop at the junction,  Your brain stop function,  Your heart chasten. 
Have you ever? 
Think of me,  As much as I think of you?  

Penerbangan Lewat

Aku terima satu pesanan ringkas. Pesanan ringkas yang menyatakan penerbangan aku diawalkan selama 2 jam dari jadual asal. Aku akur.

Aku pun tiba di Lapangan Terbang Kuching, Lebih kurang jam 8 pagi. Flight aku patutnya jam 10.25 pagi. Aku selesai daftar masuk bagasi. Aku masuk menunggu di balai berlepas pintu 6. Aku jeling kat luar, tak nampak lagi bayangan pesawatnya. Jam aku menunjukkan jam 10 dah. 
Delay lagi ni. Bisik aku dalam hati. 
Akhirnya aku nampak pesawat tiba. Kami beratur masuk dalam flight. Tempat duduk aku 15A.  Mata aku mencari tempat duduk aku. Alih-alih aku nampak seorang mamat ni duduk kat tempat duduk aku. 
"Maaf encik. Encik duduk dekat tempat duduk saya." Aku menyapa
"Eh. Yeke. Tempat duduk saya betul ni" dia menjawab
"Boleh saya tengok boarding pass encik?
"15A!" kata dia sambil tunjukkan boarding pass. Mungkin dia dah sedikit menyampah aku banyak tanya. 
Tapi seat aku pun 15A. Aku pun panggil lah pramugari dalam tu untuk to…

A year ago

It's weird,  To sit,  Look far into the horizon,  Think about,  How different were things,  A year ago. 
I was torn,  Between, "Fighting For What You Want" and  "What Meant For You Will Be Yours". 
I was torn,  Between,  "Don't go back to what had hurt you" and  "Don't easily give up". 
It was a fight,  Neither you and I,  Can win.  For I have long lose it,  Even before it begins. 
It was a fight,  In a broad day light, Now that you are out of my sight,  With all my might,  I pray we will be alright.


I ended my life story with a deep sigh.

He look at me, accepting and started his words of comfort.
"You know what?" 
"You have a big heart." 
I burst a tiny shy laugh. Trying to deny his statement. 
"Yeah. True. And you are such are strong person too." 
"And why would you say that?" 
"You know what actually being strong is? Being strong is the ability to forgive a person although the person is not even sorry. Strong, is you." 

1/2 2016

Half year had passed.  I saw my facebook memories appeared on my timeline reminding me about my statuses from years ago to reflect how my half year had been. 
How yours had been? 
I was commonly busy with work. (Of course, what else had I been busy with?). Half a year I had been travelling all over the place. Visited 4 countries in 6 months was an achievement. Despite the busy work schedule I have no idea how I find time and money to insert my travel in between. There were also plenty of caves, waterfall, mountains and sea have been explored throughout all my hiking and camping trips. Running less this year but I managed to catch up with 2 marathons. I was busy shifting to my new place. Sesi kemas barang aku jumpa banyak baju dan jersey aku dapat dari event aku join. So I had been distributing all those t-shirt I got to the people in need. I donated my clothes, to clear my wardrobe. I help me feel at ease at better about myself. Plus I go and feed the stray cats and dogs, somehow thi…